Making room for change: Love even more

When you’re ready to heal it can be painful to look in the rear-view mirror and see all the choices you’ve made that were self-destructive, or not honoring what you now realize is really most important.  Itcan be surprising and heart wrenching to see our own capacity to neglect, hurt or sabotage our own beautiful self.  Acknowledging these tendencies, the habits we blindly put into play, we’re faced with two choices- we can either turn away and continue down the same path, or we can change.  It seems obvious that change is the higher road, but not always.  The soul has to be ready to listen to the heart.

To the ancient Chinese the heart is seen as our inner Emperor.  The character for heart, Xin, is drawn as an empty space with fire around it.  It was valued that the emptiness of the heart allowed the guidance of heaven to penetrate our human nature, allowing us to feel calm, ease, warmth and love.  In our modern culture we may use different words to describe heavenly guidance, but it is once again becoming more accepted that living with inner peaceful gives way to a presence that is powerful.

If the throne of the heart is drunk on mundane worries, annoyances, or “heartaches,” there is no room for wisdom that comes from openness.    It may be the soul saying, “I’m not ready to learn that lesson just yet.”  If the deepest part of us is not ready to change, going through the actions will ultimately be result-less.  I see this over and over again as patients try to quite addictions or change behaviors.  The entire person has be to ready or change will not have any room in the psyche for the change to take root.

When one is ready to change the choice extends from the quiet depth of our own heart.  When we are really ready to heal – be it a chronic ailment, emotional instability, or limiting beliefs –  it can be felt deeply, that now is the time to change, do to something new, to expand our own capacity, to transform our self.  Shaming ourselves for past behaviors or regretting the choices we have made, is perhaps a part of the process, but ultimately for healing to occur we must land on love.  From the openness of the heart we can feel the warmth of compassion and recognize what a gift the past is to create this beautiful moment of – perhaps messy, perhaps karmic, perhaps painful – but still undeniably radiant, conscious choice.